Connection
by justsomeboy
Summary: Most of Konoha can't remember a time when Maito Gai wasn't... Well. Maito Gai. But Kakashi... Kakashi remembers.


I do not own Naruto, alas, I simply bend and twist it for my enjoyment.

Most people in Konoha can't remember a time when Maito Gai wasn't… Well, Maito Gai. Running around in that ridiculous green spandex outfit with orange accessories, his hair cut offensive to anyone who kept up with trends of the day, that stupid smile on his somehow not-quite-handsome face.

Kakashi remembers.

Kakashi remembers when Maito Gai was just _some kid_ in the back of the academy class – just some kid with long bangs and a sleepy expression, who did his work but never excelled in the way that his classmates did – not in the bookish sense of the word. He remembers the powerhouse of a child throwing their poor Chuunin teacher back twenty feet on the first day of sparring practice. He remembers watching Gai after school, pushing himself alone on the swings at seven years old, waiting for parents who would never come to pick him up.

Gai's parents had died when the boy was three – and as such, he was shuffled from relative to relative – they didn't want to deal with the offspring of i that /I woman (an orphan, like Gai, homeless, penniless, what had possessed their son to love her, they would never know), who knew what dirty blood she carried – until finally he'd graduated from the academy – a year late, but better late than never – and been put into a Genin Squad with two other young people.

Gai wore all black, back then. Sometimes he wore a green bandana around his wrist. He trained hard – training was almost all he had, at thirteen – he lived on his own, through the charity of a landlord who didn't i really /i need the tiny room attached to the attic, and so let the boy live there for almost nothing. In return, Gai took care of his building, and the people that lived there – when he wasn't on missions, he was watching children, he was repairing plumbing, he was smiling stupidly at anyone who spoke to him.

Kakashi remembers when Gai didn't have friends. When his smile was so much less well-constructed, when the right words would make him stiffen and clench his fists in that way that spoke of too much power in too small a body with nowhere to go and no way to release the tension.

Kakashi watched back over his shoulder, as he improved with ease – he was already a Jounin by the time that Gai made it to Chuunin, but the boy was always right there, behind him, by only a few steps. Kakashi had natural talent, teachers and older companions who constantly challenged him to improve. Gai had no one but himself, teammates who thought he was too bizarre, and an instructor who thought that perhaps, all the boy needed was a push in the right direction…

Kakashi remembers when Gai opened the first three gates.

They were on a joint mission – something that went from C-rank to A-rank over the course of mere seconds when it became clear that the missing nin they were being followed by had a vendetta against Konoha.

Kakashi remembers falling to the ground with a kunai in his gut, somewhere close to his liver – he remembers seeing Gai's hair – long and braided back – slowly starting to rise. He remembers the screaming as Gai moved – almost too fast for Kakashi to follow, even with the Sharingan – and absolutely destroyed the enemy.

He remembers watching Gai collapse to the forest floor, barely breathing, trembling all over but no one went to help him up. He got up on his own, depending on his own strength to keep carrying him, a stupid thing to do, as their medic-nin pulled the kunai out of Kakashi's belly and healed the damage as best he knew how.

"I'm perfectly fine," Gai had said, and it was with a hand on his hip, the other stretched out into a thumbs up. "I am perfectly fine."

He wasn't, as he was told when they got back to Konoha. Ripped muscles had slowed him down, bone fragments in his hands where he'd done most of the damage made him unable to grip anything without causing himself pain.

Kakashi remembers that no one went to visit Gai while he was in the hospital, but Kakashi didn't make friends – he was poison, he was a death warrant. So, as much as it bothered him to watch this smiling, stupid boy try to get better all on his own, he didn't approach. That was just the way things were.

At sixteen, Gai made Jounin, and was teamed up with fifteen-year-old Kakashi. The Sharingan Genius was not put out, he was not amused, he was not anything, as Gai introduced himself to the other young man, with a bright smile and an extended hand.

There was no disappointment when no handshake came, but Gai tended to keep his hands in his pockets, after that.

_I'm always a step behind you, Kakashi-kun. But someday, I'll catch up!_

Kakashi can't remember when the rivalry started, or rather, he doesn't want to remember. The memories of that mission repressed – Gai, coughing up blood, Kakashi, trembling beside him because he wasn't a medic-nin and Gai had shoved him out of the line of fire from the jutsu when the genjutsu he'd been locked in hadn't allowed him to get out of the way –

Friends risk their lives for one another, Gai had whispered as Kakashi wrapped up his bleeding guts as best he could, shoving them back into Gai's body, feeling the slick, slippery intestines in his hands. It was the first time Gai had seen Kakashi's face – he'd pulled his mask down to vomit.

You are not my friend, Kakashi spat as he picked up the grievously injured Jounin and made a hasty, cowardly retreat back towards the village. It was only a few hours. Gai could make it.

_Kakashi… Why do you say that you are not my friend?_

_Shut up, you need to rest._

_No, I… **Why?**_

_Silence._

_We are strong companions, Kakashi – we are always... You made me push myself harder than anyone else… My friend, my… My rival…_

_Don't say stupid things like that. You're going to die if you don't shut up._

_You made me think I…_

_Gai…? Gai?!_

Gai did make it, but only barely – Kakashi remembers passing his body to the medic-nin, remembers Gai's terrified face – he'd never seen the Jounin so afraid, not even as he faced death, not even as he took beatings or ran for his life.

Kakashi remembers a sixteen year old boy reaching out for him, as he was pushed into the emergency rooms, trembling terribly, before the door closed and he was left alone in the hallway with his hands fisted at his sides and his eyes closed.

_You made me think I could someday be like you._

Kakashi doesn't want Gai to be like him. He doesn't want Gai to become a plague, a curse, a disease that must be carefully watched, so as to make sure that he doesn't infect those around him. He wants Gai to have friends – he wants Gai to smile.

Maito Gai deserves to be able to smile.

Kakashi can't say the same for himself.

The next time Kakashi sees Gai, his hair is much, much shorter, and he is talking with a very bored Sarutobi Asuma about the Glorious Rite of Spring, and Kakashi can't help but smile under his mask, because if anyone deserves to give speeches about springtime happiness, it's Gai – Gai, who has scars under that green outfit from where a jutsu ripped him open, defending a friend.

It's just the kind of person he is, but Kakashi doesn't want friends.

When they talk about it, it doesn't seem to get through Gai's thick skull – not much does. Kakashi finally manages to say, "I will not be your friend, Gai." And Gai only smiles, and says in return,

"Then you will be my Eternal Rival." And there is something secret and important shared there – for as stupid as everyone thinks that Gai is, for as unintelligent, happy-go-lucky, and silly as he seems, especially in that offensive new outfit with that outrageous haircut – there is something understanding, and smart, and sweet.

But that's just the way that Gai has always been.

ANBU was tailor-made for Kakashi. He slips on his dog-mask and suddenly he's nothing more than a killer without a name, without a face, with no purpose but the destruction of the one he's sent after. Branded with the ANBU mark on his upper left arm, he hides it, because he doesn't want anyone to see that he's joined, right after that mission, when his… Partner was still in the hospital. But Gai knows.

Gai always knows. It's part of being rivals, he claims – he has to be able to read his rival perfectly in order to defeat him.

But Gai doesn't say anything about it, he never does, and Kakashi remembers when he went to Gai's home, his tiny apartment, after his ninth ANBU mission, creeping in the window only to be met with a kunai at his neck and a hand fisted in his shirt.

Gai sets him down after realizing who it was who was sneaking into his house, looking at him solemnly before leading him to his small bathroom.

Gai is too much for an apartment the size of the one that he has – he is a tall man, broader in the shoulder than Kakashi, but the Sharingan Genuis has trouble fitting in the cubicle shower. Gai takes his dirty clothes and replaces them with a soft robe, and by the time that Kakashi is clean and out of the bathroom, Gai is asleep at his table, his head on his folded arms.

It's a beautiful site, to see that energetic face at peace.

Kakashi remembers idly wondering if he was ever going to feel that – when sleep was just sleep, and not a mess of nightmares, when putting his head down felt like rest, and not torture. If Obito's ghost was ever going to disappear from his left eye and leave him alone.

He roused Gai and tugs him to bed – he remembers that it was the first night they slept together. Just slept – Gai, broad and thick and strong, with one arm braced around Kakashi, thin and reedy and all whipcord.

He remembers feeling safe. Feeling wanted.

And now, as he looks down at Gai's sleeping face – his ridiculous haircut, his outrageous outfit hanging on his closet to be worn the next day, his somewhat terrifying, masculine eyebrows – with a strong, heavy arm braced around his waist, he feels like agreeing to be Gai's Eternal Rival might have been the best decision of his life.


End file.
